Computer Error Haiku

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

You know you are a parent when…

1. You’ve signed a check with a crayon.
2. Your feet stick to the kitchen floor, and you don’t care.
3. You’ve accidentally brushed your teeth with diaper rash ointment.
4. You’ve caught vomit in your hand, and haven’t been grossed out by it.
5. You can recite Goodnight Moon by heart.
6. You consider the person who invented Sippy Cups a genius.
7. You see a mom from your child’s playgroup at the mall and know her son’s name but not hers.
8. You consider it a major triumph if you manage to shower by noon.
9. You own the entire Baby Einstein DVD collection.
10. You find yourself humming the Dora the Explorer theme song in the shower.
11. You’ve considered trading your whole life savings for just one good night of sleep.
12. You’ve spent an entire week wearing sweats.
13. You really hope that ketchup is a vegetable since it’s the only one your kids will eat.
14. Your child finds an old french fry under the seat, eats it, and it doesn’t gross you out.
15. You get to work only to realize your shirt has spit up stains on the shoulders.
16. You’ve sniffed your child’s bottom in public to determine if he/she needs a diaper change.
17. You tell everyone in your business meeting that it’s time to take a “potty break”.
18. You’ve discussed your child’s bodily functions over dinner.
19. You’ve ever uttered the statement, “Because I said so, that’s why!”
20. You’ve used spit to “wash” your child’s face.
21. You only have time to shave one leg at a time (if at all).
22. The only place you can go for “alone time” is the bathroom, and even that gets interrupted.

Enjoy and have a marvelous weekend!

Mah-na-mah-na

1. You will not marry during the term of your contract.
2. You are not to keep company with men.
3. You must be home between the hours of 8 p.m. and 6 a.m. unless attending a school function. 
4. You may not loiter downtown in ice cream stores. 
5. You may not travel beyond city limits unless you have the permission of the chairman of the board. 
6. You may not ride in a carriage or automobile with any man unless he is your father or brother. 
7. You may not smoke cigarettes. 
8. You may not dress in bright colors. 
9. You may under no circumstances dye your hair. 
10. You must wear at least two petticoats. 
11. Your dresses must not be any shorter than two inches above the ankle. 
12. To keep the school room neat and clean, you must:  

• sweep the floor at least once daily
• scrub the floor at least once a week with hot, soapy water 
• clean the blackboards at least once a day 
• start the fire at 7 a.m. so the room will be warm by 8 a.m. 

While the above rules apply to female teachers from 1915, I did also look for rules that applied to male teachers. Apparently, there weren’t very many men in the profession at the turn of the century. What I did find was not too different, but you will be relieved to know that men were given one night off a week for “courting purposes”.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Was this really necessary?

An exercise in futility…..

Oh, OK. Wait….huh?

What are those options, again?

And my favorite…

Teachers Are Like a Box of Chocolates

The Real Simpsons

Have a great weekend!

In honor of my upcoming visit, here’s a fun little sketch from that classic, the Carol Burnett show!

Caution: Dentist

Have a wonderful Spring Break!